On just doing the next right thing

Glennon Doyle Melton's book Love Warrior stayed with me for days.  I felt like I was walking barefoot in summer and phrases that stood out to me walked beside me throughout the day.  "Just doing the next right thing" was something Glennon learned when she attended meetings to become sober.  I felt the power in those words as I read them.  

This week I would have been due to birth my baby. Instead of creating a new life inside me my mind has been pushing me to start living a creative life.  The one that is always close to my consciousness.  I was drawing in OldHand the other day and a girl came up to me and said "I see you here doing art sometimes, do you have your art on Instagram?"  I laughed and said "no, I just come here to have some me time." In my heart I thanked her for coming over to me because in my mind she told me something important. She said, I see you there creative spirit, let it out, we want to see.

I watched an interview with Maria Forleo and Elizabeth Gilbert and they talked about Elizabeth's book Big Magic. The conversation landed right in my heart and big tears rolled down my cheeks.  The fears and doubts I have about my abilities were called out by their words. To paraphrase Elizabeth, who cares if it's all been done before, it hasn't been done by you.  Those words took the power away from my fear and all that's left is curiosity.  I pulled out the lap loom I bought eons ago and wound on my warp.  As I pulled the yarn through it became almost meditative.  I want to be gentle with my words in my mind. I want them to feel like the feeling I get from wrapping my hands around a mug of hot tea. And so for now I pull the yarn back and forth creating lines of peaceful meditation.